Mary Cummings Kirker, 83, Oxbow

OXBOW – Mary Elizabeth Cummings Kirker, 83, Oxbow, NY, died peacefully at her home on Sunday, Jan. 3, 2021.

Mary was born on July 21, 1937, in Gouverneur, NY, a daughter of Clarence E. and Grace M. (Kyer) Cummings. She attended school at Gouverneur Central School.

She married the love of her life, Raymond C. Kirker on Nov. 5, 1954. The couple was married for 66 years and created a legacy of true love for their family to cherish.

She was a homemaker, and spent her days unconditionally loving, and caring for Ray, and her proudest accomplishments, her children. She was a devoted caretaker to her mother, until Grace’s passing. She took the role of Mom as the ultimate job, always putting her family before herself. A truly selfless woman with a heart of gold, and the anchor of the family.

A devoted wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, Mary enjoyed family gatherings, and made sure to make a special meal, and dessert to honor every member of the family on their birthday. She was always the last to sit down after taking care of everyone else. Having family over for the holidays was what Mary loved most.  However, it didn’t have to be a special holiday, she wanted family around any day, and made sure that the family gathered frequently.  She truly, and completely lived for her family. Her home was always bustling with the pitter patter of children that multiplied through the years. She loved the arrival of a new family member, either new baby, or a significant other of a family member, and always made everyone feel so special.

In her younger years, she enjoyed dancing, playing cards with friends, sewing, knitting, cooking, baking, canning, and spending time in her gardens.  A treasured moment for Mary was having sleepovers with her grandchildren throughout the years.

In her later years, she enjoyed bird watching, reading, crossword puzzles, and watching Jeopardy. Her home was always open for a bite to eat, a baked good, and a nice visit at the kitchen table. She made the best pies and cookies, and has passed the torch, and recipes, to Ray, who now enjoys baking for the family.

She is survived by her beloved husband, Raymond; four children, Lou Ann (Buck Belile) Kirker of Fowler, NY; Gary (Annette) Kirker of Gouverneur, NY; Jeffrey (Lisa) Kirker of Philadelphia, NY; and John (Traci) Kirker of Oxbow, NY; a sister, Claire Bartholomew of Arlington, Virginia; as well as 12 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.

She is predeceased by her parents, Clarence and Grace Cummings; her sister, Grace Hutton; and three brothers, John, Thomas and David Cummings.

She had a deep love for her family, friends, and community; she will be missed by many. The Oxbow Presbyterian Church, and it’s members meant the world to her.

The family takes comfort knowing that Mary is now at peace. She will be remembered for the sweet love that she shared with her family, her kind heart, her beautiful smile, and her grace, and charm. If you knew her, your life was better for having known her.

A private service will be held for the immediate family. Calling hours will be 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 9, 2021, at the Oxbow Presbyterian Church in Oxbow, NY. Please wear a mask, and practice social distancing.

With safety being a concern at this time, you may instead send condolences to the family at Ray Kirker’s Facebook page or the funeral home’s link listed below. In addition, a spring service will be announced at a later date.

Donations in her memory may be sent to Oxbow Presbyterian Church at 42719 Church Road, Antwerp, NY 13608 or Hospice of Jefferson County at 1398 Gotham Street, Watertown, NY 13601.

Arrangements are Lundy Funeral Home, Carthage.

condolences can be made online at